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Life is not the way you want it to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.            -- Virginia Satir

Defining Expectations
for a Juicy Outcome
By Sheri McGregor

I've always believed that expectations influence outcomes in a positive way. For instance, if a parent lays groundwork for a child's behavior then expects the best, the child most often fulfills the expectation. If you plan to have fun at a party, you will have fun. If you believe you'll finish a class with a good grade, you won't disappoint yourself. The list of examples could go on and on. To me, positive expectations mean desired outcomes. But late last summer, I learned that getting caught up in expectations can mean missing out entirely. . . .

In the spring, I purchased tomato seedlings in a plastic, six-chamber pot, and cleared the vegetable bed of weeds as I've done nearly every season for the last 15 years. With gloved hands, I pressed the plants with their root balls into the little hollows I'd dug then filled in the surrounding space with extra soil. I wet the seedlings down then pushed the tiny plastic identifying stake into the ground. The picture promised a future of juicy, bright red tomatoes weighting the mature vines. So, how come the plants didn't fulfill that expectation?

Months went by, little green tomatoes growing into big green tomatoes, their skin gradually turning yellow-orange on their way to red. But they never turned red. By the end of July, I was getting frustrated. Never had tomatoes taken this long to ripen.

In August, I took a trip, and upon returning, marched out to the garden to check the status. Squatting next to the vegetable bed, I noticed masses of tomatoes had fallen to the ground, their yellow-orange skin now pouty and wrinkling. A beetle climbed out of one flattened fruit. What in the . . . .? Pressing my fingertips into the flesh of one tomato still on the vine, its easy "give" surprised me. Although it hadn't turned red, the tomato was ripe. I checked others, and then the realization dawned on me. Somehow, the wrong identifying stake had been inserted into the pot I'd purchased, and I'd accepted those molded expectations without question. These were yellow tomatoes! Quickly, I picked the few remaining fruits on the vine, frowning at the wilting leaves of the plants themselves. It was late summer, and the plants were nearly done with their season. The garden ground was littered with rotting yellow tomatoes. If only my expectations hadn't been so set. I could have enjoyed ripe juicy tomatoes all summer.

Life application: The goal here was ripe, juicy tomatoes . . . no matter what the color. In our lives, rigid expectations can lead to disappointment. But if our thinking is flexible, the end result – though different – can be just as juicy.
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by Sheri McGregor and may not be reproduced without express permission.