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Brushing Away
Negativity
by Sheri McGregor
"You
are what you think about all day long."
--
Dr. Robert Schuller
I
wish I’d read that quote earlier in my life. I can
remember wasting time in my precious young adulthood stewing
over someone else's negative input, allowing his or
her thoughts and focus to become my own. Over the years, I’ve
learned
that just as we are what we eat, our
thoughts
can also define us--as crabby, anxious and angry
individuals. Better yet, I've learned that positive
thoughts transform emotions and spread sunshine in our lives. When our
own outlooks are sunny, we transform the
lives of others.
You
might be thinking a sunny outlook isn't so simple when
you're too busy to think, have an illness to contend with,
or
are worried about a family member. There are times when we need to
express our negative emotions, and even those can lead to the positive
(look for a future article on the subject).
Meanwhile,
perhaps the following will help mold your
thoughts in line with who you want to be.
FINDING
THE SILVER LINING
"Sorry I'm running a little late," my hairdresser said when
she called me to the chair.
"That's
okay." I tossed the magazine I'd been flipping
through onto the table. "I was enjoying the moment."
She
laughed. "I can always tell you busy types with all the
kids and so much to do." As I slid into the chair, she attached the
apron around my neck and grinned. "You're
always happy just to sit there and relax."
She
was right. As a mother of five with a life full of ups
and downs, I'd learned not to sweat the small stuff.
At
a recent seminar, attendees were asked to name their
life philosophy. For me, the "don't sweat the small stuff"
saying
came to mind. And it reminded me of home- schooling my kids when they
were all under eight years old.
At
a swim class, another mother asked, "How do you do it? My dishes
are
always screaming at me from the sink."
I
laughed, saying, "My dishes only whisper." Then we both
laughed, her with a slight look of confusion, as if she still
didn't
quite understand.
I
didn't like having dirty dishes in the sink, and the
laundry wasn't always put away. But at the time, the silver
lining
was the hours I spent one on one with the kids. A less than perfect
household was a small price to pay in trade.
In
the scheme of things, aren't the dishes, or whatever
"small stuff" gets the better of you, a miniscule concern?
JUDGMENT
You might be wondering how controlling your
own thoughts ties in with the negative judgments of others. When
other people make statements about your achievements
using words such as "should" and "have to," they are
usually making a judgment that shames you.
If
I had listened to the negativity surrounding my decision
to pursue a writing and speaking career, I wouldn't have
published
my novels or any of the essays, short stories and
articles that readers have said made them laugh or taught
them something. I wouldn't have achieved my dream.
So,
I grew a tail as Sue Patton Thoele advises in her
book, THE WOMAN'S BOOK OF CONFIDENCE. Grow yourself a tail
and
use it to swish away the pesky flies of judgment and negativity.
SURROUND
YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE
For every negative Nellie, there is a positive Pam out there ready to
share her zeal for your dreams. Seek the positive Pams in your life and
be one in return.
Misery
loves company. If you're not miserable, those who
are won't choose you as confidante.
Finally,
let the dishes whisper if you must, but don't
focus on their persuasive call to the exclusion of working
toward your dreams. Remember, "You are what you think about
all
day long." And the dishes, petty slights or other annoyances are
mostly "small stuff."
All material on the www.motherswhodream.com
website is copyrighted
by Sheri McGregor and may not be reproduced without express permission.
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